Momento Jiwa

Hi bloggy, I miss you damn much. But well, nak tulis blog ni memang memerlukan some quiet time, feeling, the setting mode and many more.Here we go, aku sekarang melanjutkan pengajian di Universiti Malaysia Terengganu dalam bidang yang sama. Actually aku takda perasaan pun nak sambung, well I, myself tak tahu apa yang aku nak, apa yang aku kejar dan aim. Aku bukanlah a bright student macam kakak aku yang lain. Lowkey, aku buntu aku ... I can't even describe my own mental state lol. I'm not looking for some love or whatsoever anymore, I already left my own feeling a long ago. I got tired of life, I'm restless. I don't know why. Sometimes, I just feel like I want to be alone and alone for a long time. I don't want to talk, I'm tired. Don't ask for my help anymore, I'm exhausted. Nowdays, I keep dreaming about her. She's my bestfriend that I always proud of her, she is almost like my own soul for really long period. But now she is gone, maybe I doesn'

FINALLY DAH HAMPIR SETAHUN GENG TAK UPDATE !! hahaha bukan setakat berdebu je ni tapi berhabuk habuk haaa.. nak update ni bila bila boleh tapi bila nak update je malas tahap tak lupa diri ouo. Okayyyy ayuh mula disini, asyik cerita pasal sedih je dekat blog ni. Dahla sedih takda orang nak pujuk pulak tu haha yelah bukan sapapun baca, orang yang mungkin aku tuju pun tak akan baca, kalau baca pun tak akan terasa. Well, hidup aku rasa macam dah tak perlukan anyone else selain dari family aku. Kawan for fun ramai je heeeee. So harini aku nak cerita pasai the whole story of my Internshippppp !!! aku internship dekat Langkawi Wildlife Park Langkawi as an Educator. First and foremost, sumpah fun wehhh praktikal dekat sini or other else kau anak manja. Sebab sini memang elaun tak la masyuk biashe biashe je tapi kerja penat lah. Biasa la kerja apa je yang senang tapi bila aku banding kerja aku dengan member yang praktikal dekat tour guide haji tu dia tak buat apapun weh, lipat s

Assalamualaikum Wbt, Hi gang wassup long time no see 👀 . Okay now I'm officially done with semester 5. Its like walking through the Hell this semester. Allah bless me, I barely make it out. Nearly quit actually because of small problems that we have causes it by ourselves but nvm, nobody perfect. I really love all of my friends from my group members and all the DUPians actually. We actually deserve a gold medal that we actually facing a great great problem from ourselves, members, and lecturers. Kesabaran, sabar itu kan indah but please everybody jangan keep it up by urself, I mean the problems. It can broke you inside and out actually, okay for me its difficult. Because if I have any problems with my friends, I wont tell my families. Yelah family aku kenal semua kawan aku, takkan la aku nak cerita dekat family pasai the bad side of my friends. Sebab for me, aku nak berkawan kawan yang boleh buat macam kawan yang boleh kawan until we can tells our great-grandchildren. For me, a

Hi , my messy blog ! Howdy ? I miss writing ,almost dying from busying. Also doesn't know how to describe my feeling lately . I keep thinking something that I shouldn't, such as why I so useless ? Why I can't speak in front of many people with a confident ? Why I'm such a coward ? Why people don't like me ? why people like my friends but not me ? and I felt like I'm not good enough for everyone. Lonely, if only it could describe it me right . I'm not lonely cause I doesn't have boyfriend , yet I felt lonely inside. Depression are a big word , I don't want to claim that I have suffering from this disease. Cause maybe people would never ignore about this . Should I claim , that I had mental illness? If only somebody would save me earlier , if only if . And i kept questioning myself , did I really have a friends? In my opinion , no . I have nobody besides me. Some of my "friends" only exist when they need me , when I need them . Told ya , it

Apa itu perasaan ? rasa ? rasa apa cinta ? sakit ? derita ? suka ? duka ? gembira ? keliru ? terlalu pelbagai perasaan yang berada di dalam perasaan manusia hingga aku kelu dihadapan papan taip. Sungguh sekarang aku sedang berperang dengan perasaan sendiri antara keliru dan kekuatan. Semenjak ini aku cuba menyayangi diri sendiri kerana bagi aku, dah cukup lama masa aku ambil dengan menyakiti diri sendiri dan membenci diri sendiri. Dah tiba masa untuk aku ambil sedikit keberanian dengan mencintai diri sendiri dan percayakan diri sendiri walaupun aku tahu ada sahaja manusia yang bersikap prejudis terhadap perubahan aku. Aku tahu susah untuk aku , aku cuba menggapai perasaan itu. This is battle within myself.  Didalam aku cuba mencari jalan untuk aku menyayangi diri sendiri ini, banyak sangat rintangan. Serius aku berkata, aku tidak perlukan gossip murahan untuk menyayangi diri sendiri mahupun untuk terkenal. Aku manusia yang tidak perlukan perhatian orang ramai kerana bagi aku, d

As all of us knew that beauty is cruelty . I mean yeah , beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder . But as Malaysian nowdays. My face is common just like mehh nothing special. I don't know why but people keep unliked me? or isn't just perasaan aku heh ? . I  do feel myself preetayyy enough to show that I'm thankful enough to My Almighty . But people keep makes me feel down and down after all . Am I insufficient ? am I ugly ? why do they keep hatin' me ? this question keep appear in my mind and it's makes me felt so small and down. Just like in my class, aku tak tahu apa masalah classmates aku yang tak suka sangat dekat aku ? dekat kawan kawan aku? nak kata yang kami ni obviously menonjol sangat dalam kelas takde la sangat , just sometimes . tettt aku tahu this one guys tak suka dekat aku time kami pergi camping dekat sedim time semester 2 . Bila geng aku dengan aku naik white water rafting and he's shouting geng gedik dah mai ? and I be like come on dudes did I u