Rant on Moments

Hey, it already 2021. August 8 2021. 

I am 24 this year, I can say I aging well and healthy. As all of you know, I am doing my bachelor degree in tourism management but 2020/2021 such a terrible year for tourism sector and us as the student also having hard time such as we can doing any practical on our subject and I don't even know how to internship during this pandemic. I actually just follow with the flow, I barely make any effort on this degree. The momentum that I had during Diploma it felt different. I feel I had a great time during my diploma, but this time I have hard time to feel anything and can't have any chemistry with my classmate. Yeah actually, degree classmate is better especially the boy I can guarantee. 

However, the chemistry, the laugh,the golden moment. Or maybe I actually does not even miss my friends but I actually just miss the Golden moments that I ever had. The little crush on someone, the stupid thing that I do for a boy when I like them, the excited, happiness, the brave and the feeling. I can confirm for you, my feeling is slowly fading away. I don't even like someone now. I miss the time when I don't care about it and pursue it, but now I don't even have the feeling and the spirit. I actually hate this but still and still I think I can think clearly right now. I just have realization on my look, my attitude and my body. Sure enough, there is no man like me. Aku jamin 100%. YES AND YES look is everything! I admit it too hahaha, sebab tu aku tak ada perasaan tu. Ramai kawan kawan aku duk kata suruh kahwin la, siap kata no worries nanti ada la tu. Babes, I dont really care about it actually. At this moment, and this age I do not really need a man because I have been raised without man except my father, Abah is my everything. 

Actually, I admit I have major heart break on 2016-2019. I can say that I am not perfect, not for me and him. At the first, I really though that we have some kind of destiny. Meant to be. But yeah, that all only exist in the drama. He actually engaged and I hope he actually meet his other half. 
You know SA,
tak ada law dalam dunia ni yang kata if kita suka somebody, that somebody gotta like you back.

True. But the hardest thing to do is watching the one you love, loves somebody else. I hurt the moment I know you getting married, yet I am happy at the same time. Shit, aku terbawa perasaan ketika menulis. It just, I miss the moments. I want to go back and fix everything. Kalaulah mesin masa doraemon tu wujud, I want to go back and avoid it. Sekarang aku tengah struggle online classes yang sangat penat and aku sangat tidak mempunyai 1 perasaan pun untuk belajar expecially sekarang sebab short-sem dengan hecticnya dengan subject account, aduhh damn it! May Allah ease everthing for me, I tanak la mati sebab study, I nak mati dalam iman hehe.. 
Everything is okay in the end. If it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.
                                                             This is my degree classmate <3

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